A Lingering Question

Enjoying some park time with the little man

It's been quite a while since I felt this way but I find myself starting to ask some important questions about continuing to train and race. Since October of last year I've been dealing with a painful calf injury and I know that all it needs is a season off but I stubbornly told my physio, 'that's not going to happen.' I'm willing to take the time off after Challenge Penticton but I refuse to give up another season of racing to heal. Now I'm starting to think about how ridiculous that is... My main goal with racing is to give myself a target in order to keep myself fit and in shape. I'm not a professional, I'm not earning a living doing this so why do I need to wake up every morning feeling like I've been hit by a truck.

Yesterday I went for a little trail run thinking it would be nice to get off the pavement and just do some easy off-road running. I started out having pain in my calf, knee and back and I probably looked like I was running very akward. I got into a bit of a grove on the trails but then 5kms into it I twisted my ankle badly.... argh!!! I hobbled back home and started to evaluate if I really want to continue to race in 2015. Nothing has been easy, taking the time to train constantly causes stress between Amber and I. My body is not responding as well to the training as it used to, I know I've run a lot faster at a lot less effort in the past. Finally Ryder has been extremely tough to deal with when I am home, of course Amber has to deal with the majority of his tantrums but hearing the screaming all day every day is emotionally draining.

I realize there is still a month until Calgary 70.3 and two months until Challenge Penticton but it's looking more like this year is not going to turn out as planned and I have to just be willing to accept that and move on. I'm going to try to workout more instead of 'train' and treat it more like a reward then work, I've only been able to get in 2 workouts a week in each discipline anyway so I may just be a participant then a racer in my events this summer. No worries things change in life and I have to be willing to accept that fact and just be happy that I'm healthy and have a loving family.